Listening and Speaking

We should make a  good balance between listening and speaking. Sometimes, people who have dominant  personalaties don’t allow other members in the group to speak. On the other hand, those that are not participating vocally, are not ever fully engaged in the activity at hand. This is not effective communication either, as those that are not involved tend to loose focus. I am sure that all of you can relate to this.

If you are a good listener who does not take a strong vocal role,you can participate in other ways such as giving your opinion,ask questions,approve or disapprove the subject at hand.

However it is difficult to comment effectively if you have no interest to subject.

For example,in our meeting on november 26th our topic of conversation was about to have a new baby. We had a new mom in our group who obviously have some valuable insights. We asked her many questions about how deciding to have a  new baby changed her life with respect to her ralationship with her husband.

Unfortunately, I could not relate as I myself  have not  had the child yet. I tried to empathise with her and guess what kinds of questions I should ask her. I am sure that new mom might know what kind of questions qould be appropriate to ask however my lack of experience puts me at a disadvantage. I learned that being a mom is a difficult job and that motherly instincts are such a wonderful emotion.  This excercise  was a very different experience for me.

Human Needs

The natural desires for the things that every human requires for the pursuit of happiness to be realistic, are called needs. Needs aim at real goods, the things that are truly good for every human being. People usually know needs when they see them, or when they are deprived of them. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are among mankind’s common needs. So are the biologically based needs for food, drink, sleep and protection from the environment.

Higher human needs include:

• Association or affiliation 
• Friendship
• Love
• Peace
• Liberty
• Honor
• Dignity
• Respect
• Knowledge in all its form

These are all real goods that are truly good for all people and transcend time, place and culture, although their expressions may change. Another important need is a decent share of external goods so that a person or family is not in a constant struggle for mere survival.

Human`s basic needs

Need, want and self assesment :)

Listening is not a simple skill !

Being a great listener can win you friends, improve your marriage, boost your business profits or advance your career. It can make people feel so good about being with you that they'll literally follow you anywhere.

As a physician and stress counsellor, I've got to listen to people every day. If I don't this well, I might make a wrong diagnosis, miss some important fact, or make people feel that I'm not really interested in their welfare.

And when we get home We have got the listen even more parents, brother&sister, friends, housband&wife,daughter&sun etc...  We'd think that with all the practice we get, and with all the attention this skill has received, we'd all be pretty good at it. But we know what? Most of us aren't. We're not very good listeners much of the time.

Contrary to what you may have been lead to believe, listening is an incredibly complex skill to master. There's so much going on that doesn't meet the eye, that it's silly to even try to cover the subject in just a few short pages.

So, even though our marriages and friendships depend very heavily upon good listening skills, and even though our customers, clients, and co-workers demand this from us constantly, most advice we receive about improving our listening isn't all that helpful. That's because most advice focuses on technical aspects of listening, such as giving feedback, making eye contact, asking open-ended questions, and not interrupting others while others are speaking.

These techniques are all fine and good....but they don't really get to the heart and soul of listening. And they don't usually empower us to become better listeners.

7 Keys to Better Listening

• Listening is NOT a passive activity!
• Listen for unspoken fears, concerns, moods, and aspirations.
• Good listening requires great wisdom.
• Listen to others with respect and validation.
• Listen without thinking about how you're going to respond.
• Listen for tell-tale signs of impending trouble.
• Listen with positive regard for people's strengths & abilities.

Seven keys to better listening that will win you friends, improve your marriage, boost your profits, and make people want to follow you anywhere. 

They are very difficult, good luck :)

Listening and Communication Skills in Healthy Relationships